Articles
Teaching Children to Behave in Worship
When you take a large bag full of books, cars, dolls, stuffed animals, and cookies, you are giving out the wrong signal. I have seen children soon discard all of these and still act like brats and disrupt the whole service. When you put them on the floor to play under the benches, or allow them to run up and down the pew, or you run in and out with them to pacify them and then give them a cookie when you take them out, or even worse, allow them to make a garbage dump out of the pew and floor for several yards around you, you are not training your children to reverence God. You are teaching them to show contempt for both God and man. And by the way, if you could get a cookie for creating such a disturbance as to be taken out, would you not soon learn how to go about getting a cookie?
I have seen children old enough to go to school sit in services with comic books, or other secular books, and I have seen some do school work while the gospel is being preached. I have seen children who are old enough to hold a song book and learn to sing, allowed to sit while the whole congregation is asked to stand, or worse yet, to make a bed and go to sleep, rather than sitting up and being respectful. When parents allow this, they are teaching their children, all right; they are teaching them to dishonor God and show contempt for others. When they get older, they will move to the back rows, if you allow it, and there they will sleep, laugh with other unruly young people, pass pictures, write notes, flirt, and wander in and out to the water fountain and rest room.
What do you do with a child, past the infant stage, who is cranky and unresponsive to warnings? I first heard this formula from Gary Ogden of Plant City, Florida. He is exactly right, and I pass it on to you for what it is worth. After trying briefly to get things under control (and I emphasize BRIEFLY; don’t sit there so long you destroy the effect of the whole service), then this is what you do:
-
TAKE THEM OUT.
- WEAR THEM OUT.
- BRING THEM RIGHT BACK IN.
Well, you say, suppose that does not work? The next thing you do is:
-
TAKE THEM OUT.
- WEAR THEM OUT.
- BRING THEM RIGHT BACK IN.
You think that won’t work? Of course it works. My own children soon learned that it was not such fun to have to go out and that it was much more pleasant to stay inside and be quiet. I learned the same lesson as a small child. My parents before me learned the same lesson in the same way.
The trouble is that we have too many who rely too heavily on permissive psychologists’ instructions for training children. God’s word contains principles that will help with this problem. Consider the following:
-
“Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous; nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.” (Hebrews 12:11)
-
“Chasten your son while there is hope, and do not set your heart on his destruction.” (Proverbs 19:18)
-
“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6)
-
“Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of correction will drive it far from him.” (Proverbs 22:15)
-
“Do not withhold correction from a child, for if you beat him with a rod, he will not die.” (Proverbs 23:13)
-
“The rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.” (Proverbs 29:15)
-
“As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten. Therefore be zealous and repent.” (Revelation 3:19)
Let no one suppose that this writer advocates brutal treatment of children. These days, we are all sensitive to the subject of child abuse, and well we should be. But measured, reasonable correction that emphatically makes the point that certain behavior is unacceptable and will not be tolerated is much needed. The Lord placed in the hands of parents the responsibility for training. One day, he will call us to account for how we managed the task. If you want your children to grow up to reverence God and obey His will, then you MUST START TODAY to teach them respect for worship of God. It will take time, effort, and patience, but it is worth all of that and more!
~ Connie Adams
